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Millionaire True Story
NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans perhaps set a
new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the
popular TV show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."
Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck
on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans
of the show are dubbing "the absolute worst use of
lifelines ever." After being introduced to the show's host
Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready
to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely
easy $100 question. The question was: "Which of the
following is the largest?"
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?
NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans perhaps set a
new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the
popular TV show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."
Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck
on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans
of the show are dubbing "the absolute worst use of
lifelines ever." After being introduced to the show's host
Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready
to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely
easy $100 question. The question was: "Which of the
following is the largest?"
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?
Immediately Mrs. Evans ns was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she
did not readily know the answer.
"Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard
of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to
decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, Evans still remained unsure."Oh! It removed the two I was
leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I think I better phone a friend."
Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is
an office assistant.
"Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an
important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun."
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten
seconds.
"Come on Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it."
To everyone's astonishment, Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'
"I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.'
"Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final
answer."
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong,
and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
Let's just say she didn't win the million.
did not readily know the answer.
"Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard
of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to
decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, Evans still remained unsure."Oh! It removed the two I was
leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I think I better phone a friend."
Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is
an office assistant.
"Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an
important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun."
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten
seconds.
"Come on Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it."
To everyone's astonishment, Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'
"I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.'
"Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final
answer."
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong,
and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
Let's just say she didn't win the million.
Grandparent Stories
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
*********************************************************************
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she
heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into
their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who
was THAT?"
*******************************************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
*********************************************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I
asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
*********************************************************************
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
*********************************************************************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was.
She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
*********************************************************************
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still,
a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with
flashlights."
*********************************************************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four to six."
************************************************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied
the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'"
*********************************************************************
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. Sure," said the young boy
confidently. "It means carrying a child."
*********************************************************************
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the
fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
hydrant."
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
*********************************************************************
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she
heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into
their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who
was THAT?"
*******************************************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
*********************************************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I
asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
*********************************************************************
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
*********************************************************************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was.
She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
*********************************************************************
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still,
a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with
flashlights."
*********************************************************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four to six."
************************************************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied
the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'"
*********************************************************************
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. Sure," said the young boy
confidently. "It means carrying a child."
*********************************************************************
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the
fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
hydrant."
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